Fraying Strings, Cracking Wells

Well, I did not, in fact, get fired. I sometimes wish I would, just so I wouldn't have to feel guilty for wanting more in my job than slinging tea and hoping to make people smile a little more, and frown a little less.

That seems to be one of the few things in my life that I feel guilty about. Amusingly enough, it's what I'm least attached to. I'm not sure what that says about me as a person. A dozen regrets, a dozen guilts, in 23 years - if that number were less, I'd be concerned about being a sociopath. Luckily, I have feelings most of the time. Most of the time, I have too many. I once told someone that I can't feel things in halves. He didn't run away that time, surprisingly, but I think that may be more due to my managing not to profess my undying love than to him understanding what I meant.

Maybe I don't give him enough credit. Maybe I give myself too much, and I'm not really as clever as I think I am.